Don't be put off by my title: there is nothing sinister here chaps!! Indeed, with my general 'bloggings' I shall attempt to delight and astound you out of the mundaneness of a middle class suburban life, into the magical world of the Sophster!! Mystical...

Monday, 23 November 2020

Once Upon A Disney #25: The Black Cauldron

Last month was one of those rare occurrences where the Disney film matched the tone of the season. Just as the Hallows were weening, and we'd decked our humble abode with pumpkins, goblets, and spooky lanterns, it was time to settle down to a dark fantasy of... very '80s proportions. Hubble bubble, toil and trouble, it's time to take a look into... 

The Black Cauldron (1985)


When you take 'one-pot cooking' a little too far

Having never watched this film before — it seems Disney doesn't often acknowledge its existence — The Black Cauldron has been on my watch list for some time. Many endorse it as an underrated classic, which usually means it's actually pretty rubbish but it's edgy to like it. I'll withhold judgement to keep the suspense. 

Some scene-setting: The Black Cauldron is based on the first two books in Lloyd Alexander's The Chronicles of Prydain series, which is, in turn, based on Welsh mythology. Set in the mythical land of Prydain during the Early Middle Ages, the film centres on the evil Horned King who hopes to secure an ancient magical object known as The Black Cauldron that will aid him in his desire to conquer the world. He is opposed by a young pig keeper named Taran, the young princess Eilonwy, the bard Fflewddur Fflam, and a wild creature named Gurgi who seek to destroy the Cauldron, to prevent the Horned King from ruling the world.

'HOW MANY TIMES HAVE I ASKED YOU TO TAKE THE BIN OUT!'


Ok, so I may have copied and pasted that primer from The Black Cauldron's Fandom page. But there is a lot of exposition. And Welsh names. Plus, I'll write it off as a cheeky plug for my place of work. Anyway, you get the idea that this is a pretty typical fantasy story, complete with a Halloween-worthy villain, hero, princess, some cute creatures, etc. They also throw in some witches and pixies for good measure. 

The Black Cauldron basically delivers on its dark fantasy promise. The first Disney film to get a PG rather than U rating, it allows for a pretty nightmarish villain who embraces his dark side. The Horned King spends much of the film skulking in the shadows, his demonic face occasionally looming into view for terrorizing effect. However, his similarity to Skeletor of He-Man fame did dilute his mysticism just a little bit. 

When Boris gives us another month of lockdown


Taking on this horned horror is our hapless hero, Taran — and he really is pretty clueless. Reminiscent of Arthur in Disney's The Sword in the Stone — complete with truly terrible voice acting — Taran wants nothing more than to star in his own adventure and be a true warrior. The only problem is that he's pretty useless at everything. Firstly, he's given one job. Deliver the adorable, magical pig Hen Wen — who conveniently is able to locate the cauldron though a piggy trance —  to safety. Which means keeping her hidden and not letting the Horned King gets his mitts on her. So of course, he IMMEDIATELY loses her, within about 200m of the cottage, letting her get scooped up by a couple of crows and taken directly to the Horned King's castle. 

Me when presented with a sports bat of any kind


The film follows a strong pattern of Taran getting carried away by his own bravado and desperation to be a warrior, getting into trouble, and then having others save his arrogant behind — including the pretty cheaply drawn princess Eilonwy. The two have a kind Peter Pan and Wendy relationship, where he's openly sexist and she writes it off as 'boys will be boys.' And then you have the third wheel in the adventure party — Fflewddur Fflam, a 60-something-year-old bard who seems to be directly from a Monty Python film. The fact that the most complex, developed character is a dog/monkey hybrid who speaks like Donald Duck is saying something. 

They thought those were just regular mushrooms... 


All-in-all, The Black Cauldron was not as bad as I feared. It has a well-paced plot, a good villain, and a satisfying redemption arc or two. However, you can't shake the feeling that it's lacking the quality that the studio has been able to deliver in the past, and will do again. The animation style and script feel very generically '80s, like something you'd watch on a Saturday morning with your Cocoa pops. I'm looking forward to enjoying some more rich, sumptuous Disney magic soon. 

Major Abu vibes


Villain Rating: 7/10 — While he is ultimately pretty useless, the Horned King does cut a pretty menacing figure which was sure to terrify kids at the time

Best Song: No songs in this one! Probably for the best, as judging by some of the weak moments in the storyline, they would have probably shoe-horned something sub-par in, a la Sword in the Stone 

Disney Detail: Apparently Tinkerbell has a cameo in the fairfolk scene, but I'll have to rewatch it to spot her

Why it's a Classic: It's definitely an underdog and seems to have gone down in history as more of a cult classic than a traditional classic. I think it's been defended so staunchly over the years because it is actually half-decent. Some of the other 'classics' are actually harder to watch than this rough diamond, which is a fairly well-paced fantasy adventure with a genuinely scary villain and a satisfying resolution.