"Where the bloody hell have you been?" you may ask. Alright, no need to get antsy. Jeez. OK BACK OFF, PUT DOWN THE PEPPER SPRAY.
Ok, now you've calmed down - I am indeed BACK. With a vengeance. I'm basically the Terminator of film bloggers. Except I drink tea instead of killing people, obvs.
If there is indeed anyone there, be prepared for some witty - if slightly rusty at first - film analysis entering its way back into your life!
Previously, on Sophie's Choice...
I had left you with a review of Spider-man 2 (back in 2014!!), having just been to the world premiere - where I also spotted Eddie Redmayne. Because - fun fact alert - he's bezzies with Andrew Garfield:
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| First day of dinner lady pirate school... knackered. |
Flash forward to 2017, and things just got a whole lot classier.
I am no longer an 'everyman.' A cinema that doesn't boast sofas, tables with little tea lights on them, a fully stocked bar and 1920s architecture is DEAD to me. (Unless I'm desperate, in which case an Odeon will suffice *grits teeth*). That's right - I'm in my MID 20s now.
The only sacrifice to living this high life is that you have to wait just a teeny weeny bit longer to see new releases (so best to wear ear plugs constantly lest spoilers are revealed). Anyway, without further ado, here is the first of my much classier, more refined reviews - this time it's...
LOGAN (warning: don't eat jam doughnuts while you watch this)
This is a difficult film to start with after a long break - because I actually loved it. My favourite pastime of picking out and ridiculing every flaw is somewhat limited.
As we walked into our local swanky cinema, Johnny Cash's 'God's Gonna Cut You Down' was playing as we found our seats, setting the tone for the film perfectly. 'Logan' picks up the character of... well, Logan (a.k.a. Wolverine), in the not-too-distant future (2029). He's even more grumpy. He's drinking a LOT of whiskey. He's suddenly allowed to swear all the time because it's a 15 certificate film. And he's one cab driver you DON'T want to get on the wrong side of.
This isn't what I'd call a superhero film (which is great, because I don't have a lot of time for most of them). It's much closer to a modern Western: Logan is the lone ranger trying to keep his head down in a society that no longer tolerates or even acknowledges that mutants exist. Seen as an extinct race, only he, Professor Xavier and Caliban (a vampiric looking Stephen Merchant) seem to still be hanging on, if weakly.
In a dry, desolate landscape, it looks like we're just going to watch our favourite characters slowly fade away. Until a crazy Latino lady shows up and a highly dangerous, highly emotional journey begins (funny when that happens). When our central wolfy friend is charged with getting a mini mutant outlaw across the border to Canada (I won't explain why), the Western tradition develops into the classic trope of the hunter and the hunted.
Without taking too long (as I wasted valuable reading time in my over-indulgent introduction) this film is extremely well paced, tense in all the right places, emotionally charged and strangely moving. I was transfixed for the entire running time - which is more than can be said for Thor 2, in which I fell asleep about 30 minutes in. Awks.
Some of my favourite parts:
1) Charles Xavier's ground shuddering mental seizure in the Oklahoma City Hotel
2) The first time you see Laura getting all 'Stranger Things' on the bad guys
3) The double Wolverine face-off. EPIC.
I wasn't the only one with my hand over my mouth in pretty much every other scene (there were a LOT of metal claws going through people's heads... in a very realistic way) but this also highlighted something about the X-men characters which makes them much more vulnerable than heroes in other Marvel films: to quote Lady Gaga: they were just BORN that way. Mutant genes are a natural deformity as much as a super power, which makes the characters feel much more the victim than your average, run-of-the-mill Spider-man (sorry Andrew. And Eddie).
All in all, I thoroughly recommend Logan if you haven't already seen it - but be prepared for much more blood and cursory than the previous films in the franchise.
Now to reward myself for the first blog back with a tea and a Malteaster Bunny. Winning at life.
I am no longer an 'everyman.' A cinema that doesn't boast sofas, tables with little tea lights on them, a fully stocked bar and 1920s architecture is DEAD to me. (Unless I'm desperate, in which case an Odeon will suffice *grits teeth*). That's right - I'm in my MID 20s now.
 |
| This would make a great spinning teacups ride! |
LOGAN (warning: don't eat jam doughnuts while you watch this)
This is a difficult film to start with after a long break - because I actually loved it. My favourite pastime of picking out and ridiculing every flaw is somewhat limited.
As we walked into our local swanky cinema, Johnny Cash's 'God's Gonna Cut You Down' was playing as we found our seats, setting the tone for the film perfectly. 'Logan' picks up the character of... well, Logan (a.k.a. Wolverine), in the not-too-distant future (2029). He's even more grumpy. He's drinking a LOT of whiskey. He's suddenly allowed to swear all the time because it's a 15 certificate film. And he's one cab driver you DON'T want to get on the wrong side of.
 |
| 'I told you not to eat my Creme Egg' |
In a dry, desolate landscape, it looks like we're just going to watch our favourite characters slowly fade away. Until a crazy Latino lady shows up and a highly dangerous, highly emotional journey begins (funny when that happens). When our central wolfy friend is charged with getting a mini mutant outlaw across the border to Canada (I won't explain why), the Western tradition develops into the classic trope of the hunter and the hunted.
 |
| The Hangover 3: spanning generations |
Some of my favourite parts:
1) Charles Xavier's ground shuddering mental seizure in the Oklahoma City Hotel
2) The first time you see Laura getting all 'Stranger Things' on the bad guys
3) The double Wolverine face-off. EPIC.
I wasn't the only one with my hand over my mouth in pretty much every other scene (there were a LOT of metal claws going through people's heads... in a very realistic way) but this also highlighted something about the X-men characters which makes them much more vulnerable than heroes in other Marvel films: to quote Lady Gaga: they were just BORN that way. Mutant genes are a natural deformity as much as a super power, which makes the characters feel much more the victim than your average, run-of-the-mill Spider-man (sorry Andrew. And Eddie).
All in all, I thoroughly recommend Logan if you haven't already seen it - but be prepared for much more blood and cursory than the previous films in the franchise.
Now to reward myself for the first blog back with a tea and a Malteaster Bunny. Winning at life.
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